i can now see my judgemental tendencies at work..when i enquire or tell, i often expect to have a quick reply without stepping back to feel the vibes as if i was the recipient of my words. i ont give the recipient grace time..

from now on i pray that i give my recipient gracetime to ponder over the conversation, and i in turn, do not judge on the quality of reply. in fact, i do not expect but respond according to what is given; this is what i pray for now.

Thank you Lord for all the goodness bestowed upon your unworthy servant. now please take my heart and lead me so that i may do your will. amen.

it has been a string of events that followed my return to shanghai..my days were grey...and i am constanty looking for a friend who understands how i feel. sometimes, to be honest, i dont know if Jesus is actually listening...and then all of a sudden, i will feel his presence in unexpected moments...i long for the times when as a young child, i could feel him as if i have known him for years...seriously, i cant feel it ever since i lost it..and i dont even remember how i lost it.